My name's Maddie and I'm 16. I love all things cliche and romantic, and I live for tennis.
i’m gonna be the chillest parent ever when it comes to my kid’s clothes
u wanna wear band tshirts and red lipstick? hell yeah. u wanna wear floral skirts and hockey jerseys? cool man, if that’s what u want. you wanna wear fedoras and rage comic shirts? well actually,
why is my bedroom always so hot
maybe because it holds a portal to hell because satan himself thinks you’re a cutie and is reaching from the depths of hell to touch that booty
i love the science side of tumblr
why are penis people so surprised when they find out that a kick in the crotch hurts ladies as well?
like what do you think vaginas are made of ?? wood?? ??steel ??? diamonds ??
penis people
Yeah honey not all people with penises are male
yeah but using ‘penis people’ just sounds so funny it makes people who have penises sound like some obscure mountain tribe that live in penis huts or something
penis huts
Long story short,I work in a place with 9 others,most of whom drink at least 3 cups of coffee a day. After being the butt of various pranks (salt in my tea,large comic style bite out of my sandwich etc etc) I decided to retaliate with the Long Game. I started bringing in various gourmet coffees and brewing up,much to the delight of my co workers. Suggested a small weekly donation and I’d continue to make them delicious coffee. They agreed enthusiastically. For two weeks now I’ve been cutting the coffee with de-caff,slowly reducing their caffeine dosage until they unknowingly had a collective low tolerance. During this time I enjoyed watching them suffer the odd headache and have conversations about possible carbon monoxide levels & viruses because they all seemed to feel mysteriously lethargic. But that’s by the by. About an hour ago I engaged the enemy in a surprise attack.I brought out the heavy artillery & unleashed two successive mugs each of high-caffeine espresso blend Java. (Pincer movement). I’m sitting at my workstation now observing the battlefield. One of them is twitching and scribbling notes furiously,a few are sort of wide eyed and confused looking. There’s been two arguments already with one bloke threatening to “punch your fucking lights out” to another for leaving a trip hazard on the floor. Just for the record I’m watching all this through narrowed eyes & have my elbows on the table with my arms up & my hands in the Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation position.
Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories. | source
bang
